WHOA I MADE A STATIC FRONT PAGE

don’t get shocked by it!

So now if you go to the site you WON’T see this, you’ll have to click on Blaargablog to see this! Instead you will see MY INSANE FACE, some other words that will usually stay the same, and what will usually be probably the cover to my latest book.

That’s really all I have to say I guess??

columns!

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Species Profile: Smarmel

Hey, another species profile! These may dry up in November since I’ll be doing NaNoWriMo, but we’ll see. Maybe I’ll write a bunch ahead of time so I can just quickly post them next month. Trivia: I will probably already know if I’ve done this by the time I post this. In fact, as of my writing this, I haven’t posted the entry on Interp, so apparently I’m already writing ahead of schedule! Anyway…

Quoted from the species appendix in Slubes:

“Smarmel are a species light tan in color with melon-shaped heads. They have humps on their backs that are hard and stiff, almost like plates of rock. Their eyelids never open; instead they sense their surroundings through means other than sight, although they do have eyes. Many smarmel pride themselves on having a serene outlook on life. Smarmel mature mentally at an early age, and their average lifespan is about 100 years or more.”

Read more on the Smarmel! Read about their eyes!

National Novel Writing Month is coming!

Since I’ve been pretending to be hacked by Czar Spiest this month on Twitter, I haven’t really been able to talk about the upcoming NaNoWriMo much. I considered joining discussion, but, ghooosts…

Anyway, like the last two years, I’ll be writing 50,000 words (or trying–this is the first year I have a job along with it, presumably, so I have much less time, but also I can focus all my time at home on it instead of having schoolwork and essays to do) in November. Like last year, it’ll be a novel I plan to publish later (last year was my next novel; this year will be the one after that. Because progression!)

I don’t want to reveal too much about it yet, but there’ll be some info about it on my NaNo page; it’s currently titled Wandering Fortunes and features a brand new cast of characters and setting, though it remains in the same universe as Slubes. And I don’t know if it will be done in 50,000 words–my rough estimate is 80,000, but I won’t have a good estimate until I’ve written a few chapters and can know how long they will be on average (as, unlike my first two novels, this one will have chapters).

Like last year, I’ll be posting updates on my word count on Twitter (assuming that ghost gets outta my account!), along with how many chapters I’m through and maybe the names. I may have a chart up on this site; I’m not sure yet.

By the way, I’ve been meaning to actually make a front page for this place so the blog isn’t the front, but I keep forgetting. MAYBE I’ll do it tomorrow? Sunday would basically be my last chance until December.

Anyway, to NaNo! Anyone else going for it?

Location Profile: Interp

The other big island in the area alongside Hackney—and perhaps the more important one, though not in the novel Slubes—is Interp. It’s roughly the same size as Hackney, but more oval in its shape with no peninsulas. In the center of the island and taking up half its space is the vast city of Interpolis, while off a cliff face to the west is Shellport. Two beaches lay to the north and south—to the south, the popular tourist destination of Sandy Beach, and to the north, the unpopular nobody’s destination of Rocky Beach (which is made of very craggy, exposed stone).

Click for more on Interpolis and Shellport

Tough as Blades: First (fully-public) Short Story!

… is not the subtitle!

So my new(?) short story, as well as my first(?) short story, “Tough as Blades” is now available for viewing. For free! On the internet!!

It stars a minor character (perhaps one could call him a minor antagonist) from Slubes and what happened to him after and a few months later. That’s what I’ll usually write with short stories: smaller events featuring minor characters from novels. They’re not quite as polished as the novels, I’ll admit–those get looked over by other people and are given detailed attention to… detail… or something… unlike these blog posts… but that doesn’t mean I don’t revise them 3 or 4 times.

You can read more summary of “Tough as Blades” at the new Short Stories page (located underneath the old Cloudy Cuckoo Cosmos page), or you can jump right in either directly on WordPress here, read it on Google Drive here, or download a Microsoft Word file here because hey why not??

Stories like this one will show up every so often, probably announced a week or two ahead. I have quite a few plans, indeed. For now, the next thing to see will be my second novel, Darmenzi, but that will be after the upcoming National Novel Writing Month. Here’s to looking ahead, I guess!

Species Profile: Thyvae

Today’s topic is something somewhat based on the hydra of reality. Then it turned into a cucumber. Wait, what?

And don’t forget, I will be posting the short story “Tough as Blades” later today!

Quoted from the species appendix in Slubes:

“Thyvae are a species that look a bit like rectangular cucumbers: their bodies are entirely green and have six sides (including a square top and bottom), with the edges being rounded. Their heads are cubes, with the torso rectangular cuboids. Their arms and legs are black and as thin and flexible as cooked spaghetti noodles. Thyvae have a very patriarchal society where the males have traditionally had all the power and the females very little say, though this has changed in modern times. Their average lifespan is about 50 years.”

Physical Characteristics

The outward appearance of the thyvae, as quoted from my personal encyclopedia: “Thyvae are about the same height as slubes. They look a bit like cubic cucumbers; their bodies are entirely green and have six sides (including the top and bottom), with the edges being rounded. The head is nearly indistinguishable from the body, the neck being nothing more than a short, smoothed groove between the head and body. Thyvae have two small eyes and a small mouth; their arms and legs are thin as spaghetti noodles with the same flexibility as cooked noodles. Despite being so thin, they do have a strong grip.”

Thyvae have a lifespan of about 50 years, with maturity coming in just 10 years. In the distant past thyvae would breed asexually, splitting a new thyvae from their body over a short period of time, but as time went on they split into male and female sexes and began to reproduce sexually. They still have the ability to reproduce asexually, though, but it is more difficult now, taking a year to complete it and leaving both the parent and the offspring with about half of their full life left.

History and Culture

Thyvae have a particularly hierarchical society, one governed strongly by powerful authority figures, as well as the aspirations of becoming those authority figures. Due to this, many thyvae have roles of leadership on Interp, but mostly the males. Thyvae also have a rather patriarchal society, although in recent years more female thyvae have been pushing for more rights and equality. This has also led to some attempting a return to asexual reproduction.

No matter what side they’re on, though, most thyvae seem like big jerks, though they’re usually just looking out for themselves, and the authority figure culture stems less from following authority and more from becoming it.

Species Profile: Crawber

Today let’s talk about one of the more looked-down upon species of Mintop, crawbers. Many consider them buffoons, and they just don’t mind. Quoted from the species appendix in Slubes:

“Crawbers are decapods (crabs, lobsters, crayfish) that are very short, their dimensions being almost equal. They have hard, red outer shells and black, beady eyes. Their bodies are covered in an assortment of small, blunt spikes, and they have two large claws and six thin, pointed legs. Crawbers are often viewed by other species as simple and buffoonish, and though this has come to be seen as an insensitive stereotype, many crawbers are carefree enough to pay it no heed. Their average lifespan is about 50 years.”

Physical Characteristics

Crawbers appear to be somewhere between crabs and lobsters. The outward appearance of the crawber, as quoted from my personal encyclopedia: “Crawbers, at half the height of slubes, have close to the same height, length and width. Crawbers are hard and red, with slight variance in the coloring. They have black, beady eyes and pointy mouth, claws, and legs, the mouth having short, curved spikes on the bottom going up; the two claws together are about half the size of their body, and the legs are numbered at six. They have spikes going down their back, and other spikes on the side of their head. Near the end of their life the shell my crack and fall off, revealing the pink, squishy underskin.”

Crawbers can survive both in and out of water, though they tend to stay up on land; they’re equally clumsy in both areas. Crawber eggs must be laid in water and hatchlings must remain in water until their shell grows or they will dry out; those that live further inland will usually use a large tank of water for this purpose.

History and Culture

It’s said that crawbers came from the sea up onto land and immediately stopped evolving. This is probably one of the speciesist (that’s an awkward word) remarks, but it’s often used to explain why they’re clumsy. So few crawbers live outside the islands of Hackney and Interp that they go practically uncounted in population surveys.

As was said, crawbers are considered by many to be buffoonish and simple-minded. Although in more recent years this has been considered a bad stereotype, they often remain the butt of many jokes. Few crawbers have been seen having a problem with this, though, remaining upbeat and jovial despite what others say. Perhaps it’s not that they’re buffoonish or simple-minded, but they simply don’t let things concern or bother them.

Coming October 13th!

In a little over a week I will post here on this site the first fully-public Cloudy Cuckoo Cosmos short story. Here have a teaser:

 

He was once the greatest fighter the world that he had known had ever known…

Respected by his peers, feared by his challengers… He was on top of the world. No one could topple him.

But all that changed when she showed up. He was beaten, and he lost everything. Except his home. And his friends. And those things that are required to stay alive such as food and air. But he definitely lost his confidence and his talent. No more was he on top of the world; now he was nothing, nobody nowhere, nohow, ‘no’ why? ‘Cause he lost.

But now he risks losing everything that he didn’t lose when he lost everything unless he can find his lost confidence and talent and save the orphanage his home…

“THIS STORY ISN’T NEARLY AS DEEP AND SUBSTANTIAL AS YOU’RE MAKING IT OUT TO BE. IT’S ACTUALLY QUITE SHORT AND SILLY.”

Shut it up, you.

“WHY DON’T YOU COME OVER HERE AND MAKE ME?”

… Touché, buddy.

 

COMING OCTOBER THIRTEENTH: “Tough as Blades

Whoa hey page changes done! You might even say… panges done. no, no you wouldn’t. sorry about that.

Oh hey I finished working on the new page thingies! The Cloudy Cuckoo Cosmos pages should be updated! I added a Locations section and each profile (character, location, species) links to a page instead of a blog post, with some tweaks here and there to make it more fitting of a page instead of a blog post (most of the tweaks came in the character pages). I’ve also cross-referenced pages. I think I’m using that term right. Links are provided in the profiles when something that has a page comes up (say another character).

This weekend I might move the blog to its own section and add a new home page? Maybe a homage page?? Maybe a homage pomage?? Maybe a pomegranate?? Who knows! But yeah not sure what I’ll do for that yet. And if I forgot to say anything else in this post well I need to get to bed so I’m rushing this post kinda??