AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH

WE AS A SPECIES HAVE FIGGIN FAILED

THIS. LINE. OF. ARGUMENT. IS. INANE.

I SPENT SEVERAL MINUTES TRYING TO UNTANGLE THIS AND AS BEST AS I CAN TELL THEY’RE SAYING DEMOCRATS ARE AT FAULT FOR TRYING TO STOP DEATHS??

THE DEMOCRATS ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR DEATHS CAUSED BY THE ENDING OF LEGISLATION THEY CREATED.

WHICH THEY DIDN’T CREATE NECESSARILY.

THEY ONLY STARTED IT.

THEN WORKED WITH THE REPUBLICANS TO CREATE A MEDIOCRE BILL.

MEDIOCRE ENOUGH FOR THE REPUBLICANS TO THINK THEY COULD THEN KILL IT.

WHICH THEY CAN’T.

THIS IS LIKE IF YOU BUILD A BRIDGE, PEOPLE WALK ACROSS THE BRIDGE, AND THEN I DEMOLISH THE BRIDGE SAYING THE RESULTING DEATHS ARE YOUR FIGGIN FAULT FOR BUILDING THIS BRIDGE IN THE FIRST FIGGIN PLACE.

EVEN THOUGH I HELPED YOU BUILD THIS STUPID BRIDGE!

ANYWAY. IT. GETS. WORSE.

AAAAAAAAAAAHHH

DEATH IS NOT LIKE A CLOCK THAT IS SYNCED UP FOR EVERYBODY SO THEIR TIMER RUNS OUT AT THE SAME TIME AND EVERYONE HAS THE SAME DEATH TIME.

SOME PEOPLE DIE WHEN THEY’RE THIRTY.

HEALTH CARE.

CAN STOP THAAAAT.

AND HEALTH CARE.

IS EXPENSIVE.

BECAUSE WE HAVE A TERRIBLE PAYMENT SYSTEM.

THAT WE TRIED TO FIX.

BY GIVING PEOPLE MONEY.

AND MAKING INSURANCE COMPANIES ACTUALLY PAY FOR HEALTH CARE.

“PEOPLE DIE NO MATTER WHAT WE DO, SO LET’S JUST NOT HAVE HEALTH CARE AT ALL”

THAT IS WHAT YOU ARE SAYING.

YOU ARE SAYING LET’S LET PEOPLE DIE BECAUSE PEOPLE DIE.

YOUR DOG IS GOING TO DIE SOMEDAY SO YOU MIGHT AS WELL LET ME TAKE IT NOW AND MAKE STEAKS OUT OF IT.

AGAIN, PEOPLE ARE NOT DESTINED TO DIE AT SOME PREDETERMINED POINT.

HEALTH CARE CAN KEEP THEM FROM DYING.

I JUST REALLY.

I DON’T THINK I’VE EVER GOTTEN SO INFURIATED OVER SOME TWEETS BEFORE.

AND I REALLY.

REALLY.

HOPE THESE ARE BOTS.

THAT AT LEAST EXPLAINS THE INANITY, BECAUSE, MAYBE BOTS DO HAVE SOME TIMER THAT SAYS WHEN THEY EXPIRE, AND THEY LITERALLY CAN’T DIE BEFORE THAT.

BECAUSE OTHERWISE.

I’M DONE WITH PEOPLE.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH

huff

huff

huff

i need a doctor

Gender Swap

I’m sure you’ve heard: The Doctor is now a woman! Neat! I’m not here to talk about that, because I saw this tweet in response:

SO I DID.

Animaniacs, Pinky & the Brain, Freakazoid

Yakko and Wakko as girls and Dot as a boy? It totally works! You really don’t even have to change anything. No, technically, you don’t have to change their reactions to attractive people.

Pinky & the Brain also super works too and the show kinda needed more female characters so yeeeah. I even once wrote a story in the past with a character who was basically a female version of The Brain so I can confirm it still works.

Freakazoid was the only one I had a bit of trouble with at first but then I got over it. Actually would female Freakazoid be a Manic Pixie Dream Girl with no guy to be a supporting character to? (I know Steff was his girlfriend later but he’s still the main character?) I guess he (she) wouldn’t really be pixie. I guess Freakazoid is more of a Cloudcuckoolander. Look I don’t organize tropes I just write them and then people tell me what tropes I’ve used, or at least they would if they’d put me on TV Tropes. Someone go do that.

Sheep in the Big City

I’ll wait a moment for you to look that up.

Anyway just reverse the entire Secret Military Organization. Which really just means they’re all female now, except maybe the Plot Device, who is still a robot but with a male voice. It still works, except it again took me a bit on General Specific, but I think I got it conceptualized. Also, Ben Plotz. Have a female narrator!

Actually I recently realized I missed a great opportunity to give Wally in the Cloudy Cuckoo Cosmos a gender-neutral name. There’s no reason they should be male, and in fact good reason for them to be neither, so Wally is officially a gender-neutral name and Wally is referred to with a they pronoun. Anyway! With those two shows considered I started thinking of other forms of media!

Discworld

Why haven’t we had a female grim reaper?

I mean I wouldn’t be surprised if something has had a female personification of Death but I don’t know of one.

Also I don’t know if The Luggage counts as male but if it does there wouldn’t be much of a difference as female.

Despite what Granny Weatherwax might say, I could not only see the wizards and witches be swapped, I’m not sure there’d be a difference!

And there’s no reason the Night Watch couldn’t be swapped. Sam Vimes, Sergeant Colon, and yes, even Nobby.

Cloudy Cuckoo Cosmos

wait these are mine. and top is neuter. Okay actually if the CCC is ever adapted into a media with sound Top should definitely be voiced by a female voice actor.

Super Mario

Female Fawful? Works for me! Male Cackletta? That’s just Antasma. Female Waluigi? wa. (That’s Waluigi for “yes”) Female Count Bleck, female Dimentio? YES

Banjo-Kazooie

Why is it so hard to imagine a male Gruntilda? Maybe it’s because she’s such a figgin awesome female villain and those are always precious. Anyway, as soon as I imagined her not as a witch but as a wizard or warlock or something IT STILL TOTALLY WORKS

Sonic the Hedgehog

okay i draw the line at eggman losing his mustache

JUST KIDDING FEMALE EGGMAN WOULD BE COOL TOO

I’d also be super down with female Tails and Team Chaotix.

Nedroid

Female Reginald and female Beartato would also be cool and I want to see Anthony Clark do that actually.

Homestuck

Let’s be honest, there’s probably enough fan-fiction out there that every character is gender-swapped at some point, and I’m okay with this. Female Spades Slick!

Anyway I hope none of this is offensive, or maybe I hope all of this is offensive. It’s hard to tell!

Pokemon Moon Comic 75: Massage

Apparently Slick just has the ability to transform his costume into other things! Its probably his party hat ears. There’s a precedent for this.

Species Profile: Nervist

Like with Slubes and Darmenzi, with Wandering Fortunes comes a host of new species to be added to the website. The most recent chapter introduced a plethora of them, but this profile is of a species that introduced in the previous chapter, the imposing bird with a bad reputation, nervists.
As usual, with it being the middle of the month, the next chapter will be going up on Patreon for $3+ patrons today! If you can’t give that much, though, $1 gets you access to a weekly update where I post excerpts of what I’ve worked on over the week. Next update is tomorrow, probably with an excerpt from chapter 11.

Net Neutrality

You may notice a few images on my main page aren’t visible today. Yes, it’s the day of action for net neutrality. Read up on it here! Send a letter! Submit a comment! Come on!

I may not have that big a following yet, but without net neutrality it’d just be that much harder for me to get one. I’m both a consumer and creator, so I stand to lose twice. Anyway here’s a comment I sent to the FCC a couple months back:

I am affirming my support for net neutrality so that we can maintain an open and fair internet where ISPs can’t charge customers and website owners for the ability to reach a website before your battery just gives out on you. It would not be fair for ISPs to be able to restrict access to websites that don’t pay them money, that is called extortion. They would not police themselves, because they have restricted access to things competing with their own products before. As both a consumer of internet things and a creator of internet things, I both want to have access to the websites I want to visit and I want consumers to have access to my website so they can read what I write. The loss of net neutrality could figgin hurt my business model, it would be like allowing McDonald’s to figgin buy the street a bunch of local eateries are on and then make half that road inaccessible. Please keep net neutrality!

Pokemon Moon Comic 74: Leech Life

I wanted to actually include them attacking something but didn’t know what to put so I just went with Sandbag.

Political Fantasy

This article might be the most bizarre piece of fantasy this year yet: What If Trump Had Won As a Democrat?

At least now I don’t feel bad if something in my novels is somewhat unrealistic.

Ayiyi

9 down

all the stars are fish…

IT’S A FISHING ROD

Savethrift

With some of the games coming for the Nintendo Switch later this year I’m gonna want to get one soon, but the stock has been pretty abysmal from what I’ve heard, so I figured it’d be a good idea to get one sooner rather than later. I called Wal-Mart today (look it’s the only nearby place that has game systems, everything else is on the east side near the mall all we got here on the west side are trees and lakes, PFFT NATURE) and they had a couple in stock.

But I was like, ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhshhhhshhhshshhsshhswaieurduncare

I’ll definitely want one before mid-August; still don’t know if I’m getting Spla2n, I want more friends who are getting it. But half the time I’m like “i’m going to buy this thing” and five seconds later I’m like “i really really don’t want to buy this thing”. And buying something when you don’t want to sounds insane so I end up not doing it.

This is probably a habit I want to cultivate. Some people are spendthrifts. I’m a savethrift. Some people want to spend money all the time. I want to spend money never.

Neighbors

It’s kind of hard to tell without the volume up high, but there is a constant semi-rythmical thumping like from drums. I assume it’s drums? Someone in the upstairs apartment is apparently playing drums? At completely random times of the day/night, at that?

WHY IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE

anyway i’ve just had the need of complaining about this. sometimes–more than I care for–i would really like to be deaf, and it is legit for this reason i still haven’t cleared out my right ear since it kind of acts as a natural noise reducer sometimes……….

Sorry, too much information.

NEIGHBORS, WHADDYA GONNA DO

Anyway people seem to be setting off fireworks outside so yaaay more noise. The thing is, I would trade all the music in the world for silence. But at what cost? Oh, right, all the music in the world. Okay!