Profile on scalagos

The page on scalagos is now available. Read about how they’re found on two different planets for some reason that nobody knows, but lots of crazy crackpot theories have been put forth! Yay! Scalagos are the species of the protagonist of Wandering Fortunes, Alden. Scalagos aren’t that important on Zhop, kind of like Numer and the slubes in the first two books, but unlike slubes scalagos are very important on another planet, Derantu. More on that later. Much later.

Updates on other things: Still waiting on stuff regarding Darmenzi‘s completion and the cover for Wandering Fortunes. They’ll come! Don’t worry about that. I’ve also been really busy doing all sorts of stuff and I’m like a week behind so, um. Also, speaking of Wandering Fortunes, I’m about to post chapter 4 for $3+ patrons over at Patreon. Take a look if you’re interested!

Wandering Fortunes Chapter 3: Homed Out, now available

Now available on DVD and Blu-Ray

Wandering Fortunes Chapter 3 is up, wherein Top quits and then retires to a good home on a farm upstate. There’s also some politics with the Micagox. But obviously as always the highlight is Top’s spouting nonsense. They request maternity leave at one point?

As always my Patreon is Patreonning, or whatever, with previews and peeks and what I’m working on now and early chapters. Chapter 4 will be there in just a couple weeks. Top becomes a housewife! (They don’t become a housewife.)

Cleaning a mouse (the, uh, computer device)

I used to have…

Okay.

I have a problem with computer mice. After a while of use they don’t click right–either they don’t click sometimes or they click multiple times, or more likely both. This usually happens with the left button and sometimes the scroll wheel. I always figured it was mediocre shoddy construction (I’m looking at you, Logitech). However, now I suspect it is actually incredibly well-done and artfully crafted shoddy construction.

Specifically, it’s not that the mouse was broken, it was just dusty and needed a cleaning.

Well, let me try to clean the inside of the mouse I’ve been using. Okay, unscrew this screw, and… it won’t open. What? Okay, let me look up a video here. Okay, okay, yes. Oh. The other screws are under some smooth guard things to make moving the mouse smoother, and they actually peeled off some years back and I superglued them back on. Great.

Oh, even better, after those are unscrewed you need to unscrew more screws inside the mouse to get to the top part of the mouse. You have to go through the whole internal workings just to get to the top area. I’m starting to see why most instructions to clean this mouse say to just work a knife between the top and the clicky button area to get that apart. What should be a simple routine clean becomes a complete disassemblage that could easily result in doing something wrong and leaving it unusable.

Do they make tiny explosives that just release a rush of air instead of fire and smoke? I think that would be an easier way to clean this.

As long as I’m complaining, my dad’s old toolbox smells like a dead dog. He says it’s always smelled like a dead dog. ????

Pokemon Moon Comic 41-50: Refreshing Glass of Bugbus

It’s been a while since the last posting of these. Not doing the dayjob now means I have more time, but working heavily on the novels means I have less time. My schedule showed I should’ve had comic 50 done a week ago, since I want to do three a week… Anyway, in this group we get a couple evolutions (including one of the best gen 7 Pokemon), some new team members, and a trial. Also I would legit pay $60 for a Hey You, Wooper! game.

Character Profile for Alden

The character profile for Alden is now available to read. He’s basically the protagonist of Wandering Fortunes, being the focus character in pretty much twice as many chapters as the other main characters. He’s also a bookworm. Yaaay. This means is is guaranteed relatable because you are also reading at the same time. This is how relatability works right. Relatable and other related words are actual words right.

In other CCC news, I’ve spent the last week working hard on Darmenzi and I’m only 60% through editing from the editor’s notes. Still I should finish in a few days and then spend a week reading through it for a final scan and if things go according to plan this book will be released in April or May so the Nottle Crystal series is almost complete in final book form yaaay! FINALLY, THE THINGS THAT HAPPENED IN THE CHAPTERS I POSTED OVER THE LAST COUPLE YEARS WILL HAPPEN FOR REAL. For a certain definition of “real”.

Also, don’t forget my Patreon, where $3+ patrons this very day get to read chapter 3 of Wandering Fortunes. Everyone else has to wait a couple more weeks.

Finally, I have CCCalling cards now. This is not really something of interest for the internet but LOOK AT THEM

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Shadow the Hedgehog Summary Dialogues

For those who don’t know, the video game Shadow the Hedgehog (spin-off of the Sonic the Hedgehog series starring the rival antihero character Shadow the Hedgehog, big surprise there) featured a branching storypath. You could do evil or heroic missions, usually helping the main villain Black Doom or assisting a friendly Sonic character from the series, or sometimes you can just ignore both paths, and the story and level you go to change depending on the mission you go to. This means you could do some evil stuff but then change to hero and end up in a level you’d have been to if you did mostly hero stuff.

This also means the story is usually disjointed and doesn’t follow very well.

Sega also gave a name to every storyline you can do, 326 in all. Because of the weirdness of some of these paths, I wrote a summary in dialogue form. Here’s storyline #157, Diabolical Power:

Black Doom: SHADOW KILL THOSE SOLDIERS
Shadow: lol nope
Black Doom: WHAT, FINE, THEN GO ACTIVATE OUR RUINS
Shadow: lol nope
Black Doom: RGHA;R FINE GO DESTROY THESE OTHER SOLDIERS
Shadow: lol nope
Black Doom: OH YEAH WELL GUESS WHAT WE DON’T NEED YOU ANYWAY WE GOT OUR RUINS FLOATING, SO GO BLOW UP THAT DOCTOR GUY
Shadow: Oh okay actually I will go blow him up, he’s annoying.
Black Doom: YESSS, GOOD, NOW DESTROY THE PRESIDENT’S PLANE
Shadow: lol nope
Black Doom: THAT’S IT YOU’RE COMING HOME AND DESTROYING THESE SOLDIERBOTS IN OUR BLACK COMET
Shadow: oh. okay. that’s fair.
Sonic: I can’t let you do this, Shadow!
Shadow: nope i work for black doom now
Black Doom: YES BUT YOU’RE A TERRIBLE EMPLOYEE SO YOU’RE DEMOTED TO JANITOR

And here is Shadow the Hedgehog storyline #73, An Eternal Rival…

Black Doom: SHADOW, KILL THESE SOLDIERS
Shadow: kay
Black Doom: NOW SHADOW, DESTROY THESE INTERNETS
Rouge: Hi Shadow
Shadow: actually i’m gonna help the hot girl
Black Doom: WHAT. WELL AT LEAST DESTROY MORE SOLDIERS.
Shadow: nah i’m turning over a new leaf.
Charmy: Hey Shadow!! Wanna help me!!
Shadow: no you’re not a hot girl
Dr. Eggman: What about me?
Shadow: you’re cool so okay
Black Doom: YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE WORKING FOR ME.
Sonic: Hey Shadow!
Shadow: oh my god go away sonic, black doom if i blow up some defense systems for you will you make sonic go away
Black Doom: YES. WHATEVER. DO AS I SAY.
Shadow: okay but after this i’m going to ignore you entirely and deal with my angst by killing dr. eggman
Dr. Eggman: What was that?
Shadow: i mean activating his volcano defenses
Dr. Eggman: Oh, splendid!
Shadow: haha jk i’ma kill you *karate chop*
Dr. Eggman: nooo

Anyway. I kind of want to do a whole series of this. Maybe not for all 326 though.

Government Pizza

I put together this post almost a week ago and saved it to post probably the next day and it completely slipped my mind.

I recently wrote a series of tweets that turned into a weird story on why I worry about what Democracy will wrought. Or wright. I’m not sure what the future tense of wrought is. Anyway.

 

Chapter 2 of Wandering Fortunes is now up

Chapter 2: No Stranger Stranger is available to read now. In it we get to meet the next main character of Wandering Fortunes, Alden, and then, later, Top sings. Between that I would say it’s a good chapter.

Don’t forget, those who give to the CCC Patreon have the chance to read these chapters half a month early. Chapter 3 in just a couple weeks. And a reminder, all money from the CCC this month goes to charity to help keep the country from drowning, and that includes from Patreon.

And no, still no cover. It’s being worked on.

CCC donates to charities in February

So most of the time when I get into

Bah, this isn’t even politics, this is just basic decency. Well, if you’ve read the news, the US is imploding, and people are giving money to organizations to try and keep things existent for the next while. I keep my monetary levels at sea level generally, but I figured I could donate other peoples’ money. Thus to the end of February (and maybe later depending on how things go) all sales of my book will go to charities doing good things to save the nation and the world from being eaten by a bog monster.

Right now I’m thinking the American Civil Liberties Union, Planned Parenthood Action Fund, Natural Resources Defense Council, and Fight for the Future (the internet is serious business, after all). I’m open to other ideas, though.

What this includes is, well, anything related to the CCC. Buy a copy of Slubes, whether paperback or ebook, wherever copies are sold, and whatever I get from that goes to a charity. Become a patron of mine on Patreon in February? To charity. Buy that shirt that I never mention? It’s sad and heartwarming, the latter mostly because you’re wearing magma, and weirdorable and yes if you buy it money goes to a charity, and then you get a shirt and can wear the shirt at a protest and I can’t actually think of anything clever as to how that would tie into all this. I mean, it’s a figgin magma monster. I’d say like, you could say it’s Trump, but then you make Trump look sympathetic. Also a magma monster. Cagnorm is way more likable anyway.

That’s all I got, I suppose. You can of course always donate directly to good causes, but, like, then you won’t get to read a neat and funny book. Actually, I suppose I could give an ebook copy to anyone who can show they’ve donated, but I’m not sure what would qualify as proof in that regard.

Anyway, if you’ve read this far, a reminder that tomorrow the second chapter of Wandering Fortunes goes up. Then those who do become patrons in February will get to then read the third chapter in just a couple weeks. Exciting!

Top Character Profile and Patreon Video

The character profile for Top is now available to read. A bit of this information is that which is pertinent later, but most of it is general or made clear in the first chapter. Top has kind of a weird relationship to me–Numer and the other slubes were created before Top, but I wrote stories with Top a lot more in the latter half of the previous decade, so I have some attachment to the little oddball.

There is also a new Patreon intro video for my Patreon page! Take a look, IT HAS ME HUMMING A LOT:

As it turns out, starting today $3+ patrons can read chapter 2 of Wandering Fortunes before anyone else.

One more thing to make note: I’ve gotten Darmenzi back from the editor! It’s time to pull that open and get to work on finishing this second book. I’ll keep you posted on the updates.