New species profile added for arkents

Arkents now have a profile on the website! These short, squishy creatures are tentacled and shelled and make quite good seafood. They come from a swampy region of Zhop. Basically, they come from Zhop’s Florida. The first friend our protagonists of Wandering Fortunes meet in New Zhopolis is an arkent, too.

In other news, I finished writing a brand-new chapter for Wandering Fortunes, so I’m going to let that cool off in the back–next week I will finally begin the final edits on the final version of final Darmenzi! It’s going to happen soon! I’m going to have a SECOND book out! Take that– er, wait. No smack-talk. I’ll keep you updated on it! You’ll be even more updated if you become a patron on my Patreon, which is going to get chapter 10 uploaded to here pretty quick!

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New Character Profile page: Ropak

There’s a new character profile up for the character introduced in this month’s Wandering Fortunes chapter, Ropak! He is of mysterious origins with unknown parents and is sometimes lazy. Those things are apparently not mutually exclusive. Ropak is the third main character of WF and sticks with Alden and Top throughout the story. He’s also 13 years old, but that’s okay because wrallots mature at like age 10.

As usual, let me tell you about Patreon. You can give creators money at Patreon. You can give me money at Patreon. If you give $3 per month you get to read chapters half a month early! The next chapter is going up for that level in a few moments!

Character Profile for Alden

The character profile for Alden is now available to read. He’s basically the protagonist of Wandering Fortunes, being the focus character in pretty much twice as many chapters as the other main characters. He’s also a bookworm. Yaaay. This means is is guaranteed relatable because you are also reading at the same time. This is how relatability works right. Relatable and other related words are actual words right.

In other CCC news, I’ve spent the last week working hard on Darmenzi and I’m only 60% through editing from the editor’s notes. Still I should finish in a few days and then spend a week reading through it for a final scan and if things go according to plan this book will be released in April or May so the Nottle Crystal series is almost complete in final book form yaaay! FINALLY, THE THINGS THAT HAPPENED IN THE CHAPTERS I POSTED OVER THE LAST COUPLE YEARS WILL HAPPEN FOR REAL. For a certain definition of “real”.

Also, don’t forget my Patreon, where $3+ patrons this very day get to read chapter 3 of Wandering Fortunes. Everyone else has to wait a couple more weeks.

Finally, I have CCCalling cards now. This is not really something of interest for the internet but LOOK AT THEM

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Top Character Profile and Patreon Video

The character profile for Top is now available to read. A bit of this information is that which is pertinent later, but most of it is general or made clear in the first chapter. Top has kind of a weird relationship to me–Numer and the other slubes were created before Top, but I wrote stories with Top a lot more in the latter half of the previous decade, so I have some attachment to the little oddball.

There is also a new Patreon intro video for my Patreon page! Take a look, IT HAS ME HUMMING A LOT:

As it turns out, starting today $3+ patrons can read chapter 2 of Wandering Fortunes before anyone else.

One more thing to make note: I’ve gotten Darmenzi back from the editor! It’s time to pull that open and get to work on finishing this second book. I’ll keep you posted on the updates.

New Character Profile: Darmenzi

Another new character profile is up, this one for the title character of Darmenzi, er, Darmenzi. There’s not a lot of certainty I can give related to him at this time because spoilers, but someday more will be revealed.

In Slubes news, I’ve basically finished the final edits, and soon I will begin working on the formatting. I probably won’t have solid information at the end of January, but surely by the middle of February. Stay tuned, whoever!

As always, Patreon, where I reveal things first. Um, no more information on Darmenzi, though, although the next chapter is up there.

See you in February, where maybe I can start getting things cooking. Or at least radioactivating.

New Character Profile and Late Status Update

Chee has an entry on the character section of the site now. She is angry and a jerk and has announced her bid for Republican nomination for president of the USA. Except not that last part. “Non-citizen-status”, you know? So far the two characters added to that section since Darmenzi started also appeared in Slubes.

Speaking of Slubes, I’ve recently gotten an email back from my editor on Slubes, and she has finished. I’ve been going through it recently; there’s more work ahead, but the conclusion is getting closer. If I can release it in the first quarter of 2016, I’ll be happy. And not only because I have a buffer on Darmenzi chapters to the end of March.

Speaking of nothing related to what I was talking about, tomorrow starts the busy season at my day job. aaaaaaa

And finally, Patreon!! It’s still a thing, always a thing, and I’m about to post chapter 8 half a month early for people who give me money because they’re impatient. Wait, did I just insult people who become a patron for that? What I meant to say was… definitely not that.

New Character Profile: Cagnorm

The character page has been updated with a new character page for Cagnorm, that lonely la- magma monster in Mount Chiphus. There’s not a whole lot of info on it though–it only features information known as of Slubes. My plan is to update character pages with previous appearances when they return in later stories.

Character Profile: Sal

We’ve seen a war machine and ghosts, a buzzsaw and a bratty kid… and now we get to Sal. He’s a snake. Literally, he’s a snake—no appendages, long, green, striped… he’s got a big, HUGE head with a mouth that could swallow a television set whole. And the head is… kind of shaped like a circus tent; the top half is, you know, has two tips at the top that sort of gently slope outwards, while the bottom half is mirrored. He’s got triangle-shaped eyes, too, striped green, and, really, his entire body is just striped green.

Sal’s size belies his attitude, but his attitude belies his prowess. He’s kind of a doofus. He acts foolish and makes a lot of stupid remarks, but he’s no fool—he can actually be quite clever and is quicker to trick than to be tricked. Still, he’s a bit of a nutty goof. He’s got some tricks up his skin, though—first, The Conqueror’s gene splicer multiplied his size and length, and it also made him able to spit up acid that can melt through just about anything it touches. Now that’s potent!

Regarding The Conqueror’s new agents, Sal’s the fifth. There’s also a sixth—but this special, overwhelming final agent can only be discovered in my new novel—this is the final character profile for a while. It’s been two weeks since my first novel came out, and it’s time to get back to work on my second. (After I find a paying job.)

Character Profile: Wrodin

Today for Father’s Day, I have a character who has never had a father!

One of the islands that the crystals wash up onto is deserted—devoid of any life, actually. Not even plants. Instead, it’s covered in junk and scrap metal. It looked as if a thousand factories building metal objects exploded. And one of these metal objects is hit with The Conqueror’s animator.

Wrodin is a machine built for war. When closed it’s just a red sphere, but the two halves can split open to reveal a black cylinder connecting them (where the obligatory “living inanimate object eyes” appear). As a war machine, it comes fitted with a vast array of weapons: explosive shells, missiles, rockets, energy guns, bullets, miniature versions of itself, its own weight, and a massive energy blast that can cut through solid steel.

Wrodin is fixated on war. Aiming to be The Conqueror’s top general, it desires nothing more than to sweep the cosmos by The Conqueror’s side, blowing up anyone who stands in their way—the slubes included. But with Wrodin on his side, The Conqueror had better invade quick—Wrodin might just blow everything up in its raging passion for destruction.

Character Profile: Czar Spiest

One of the more mysterious parts of the island Hackney where Nottle and Gelago City are located. On the east side of the island is an old, overgrown manor known as Spiest Manor. There live the spooky and silly spiest, white, floating balls with a single capsule-shaped eye and oversized arms. These spiest, according to the scanners on The Conqueror’s space station, are imbued with supernatural energy. Ghosts!

The spiest aren’t necessarily bad—they just enjoy pranks and spooks, but it’s usually all in good fun. They are secretive, though, and very few, if anyone outside of the spiest, knows just what the full extent of their powers are. SO LET’S RAMP UP THAT POWER TO THE MAX!

The Conqueror sends down another gene splicer to Spiest Manor and one of the spiest gets turned into a huge, hulking, monstrous, beastly… okay, so it’s really only big, giant even, but it does become able to shoot a laser out of its eye.

With its new power, this spiest declares itself to be the new czar of spiest: Czar Spiest. It plans to shift the image of the spiest from harmless, if not spooky, pranksters to truly terrifying… little white balls that are actually kind of adorable. I mean, uh, to truly terrifying ghouls of horror!