April Fool’s!

If you read my new story to the end, you saw this coming. Not a joke, not a prank, but an entire story that, for the most part, really is in the style that the joke claims to be in. Take that, fake movie trailers! I’m making REAL stuff for April Fool’s Day!

But…

The real April Fool’s is that it turns out the next few Wandering Fortunes chapters actually DO take something of a dark turn! Oh boy! Keep an eye around here, we’ll return to that story at the start of May.

For now, today’s Odemon will be coming shortly.

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Taking the Cloudy Cuckoo Cosmos in a new direction

I’ve decided I’m going to change my writing style. For the longest time I’ve had a pretty silly tone, but I’m going to shift to a more serious tone and style now. To experiment with this, I’ve written a short story that I’d like to get some feedback on, but make sure you read the entire thing before you do.

Oh, and it’ll help if you do it within the next, say, twenty-four hours.

Duth Olec’s 2017 Retrospective

It’s cool to do this, right? Actually I might have done these sort of things in past years too. I don’t remember. But let’s take a look at what I’ve done this year, assuming I do remember!

ACCOMPLISHMENTS

  • Began posting the prog version of Wandering Fortunes online: on my website, on Wattpad, and for the first time on Medium. At the rate of one chapter a month, I’ve gotten twelve of these chapters up. That puts me at about a third through the story. This story is actually somewhat special to me–the first two novels were partly based off ideas I had years and years ago, but Wandering Fortunes is the first story I came up with after I decided to go into noveling (authorial term). Furthermore, the main characters, and many other characters, are based off characters I used to use in collaborative stories I wrote with some old internet friends. Were it not for those pals I would never have gotten into writing, so I thank them profusely. (Also some characters in Wandering Fortunes are inspired by some of their characters, too! Don’t worry, I got their permission.)
  • I continued the Pokecomic, which started when Pokemon Sun and Moon released last year. The first comic of this year was 39, and on the 30th I’ll post number 89, so that’s fifty comics this year. At that rate I’ll finish it in 2019, probably sometime after the 8th generation of Pokemon comes out. I’m actually rather surprised and proud I’ve been able to keep this comic up, considering these side projects involving art usually peter out for me pretty early, but this is something I’d wanted to do for over 5 years, probably since the 5th generation of Pokemon games came out.
  • In April began a new Twitter account for the Cloudy Cuckoo Cosmos where theoretical tweets from major CCC characters are made, using trending hashtags or responding to other tweets or simply posting about their lives. Shortly after announcing the Darmenzi release date I started posting theoretical messages from during the story. It’s been fun! I like coming up with stuff for the characters to say, such as on Thanksgiving, every character I’m using posted what they’re thankful for. Here’s a few highlights:
  • I released two pieces focusing on the premise of the character Top from Wandering Fortunes interrupting an existing story, with Lord of the Rings and Magic Banquet. (See also Wattpad here and here, and Medium here and here.) This is a premise I’d actually come up with earlier while reading a different story (which is yet to be used) and I was just like “man what if Top just showed up instead and distracted this bad guy”. I really like the idea because I really like Top and they’re basically the poster child for the Cloudy Cuckoo Cosmos, but it turns out I’ve had a bit of trouble coming up with more scenes to use, though that’s mostly because I don’t think about it while reading a book and then afterwards I don’t remember the book well enough to fit Top somewhere. But gaddfern it, I am GOING to find a way to shove Top into Charles Dickens one of these days!
  • I announced the ebook release date of Darmenzi, which isn’t until 2018 but still I announced it in 2017. This involved a lot of stuff that’s stressful for me. That press release? I tried to send it out to press places. I actually contacted people, trying to promote it. I still have more time to work on promoting it. I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DOOOO but I’m going to try anyway. I’m not expecting a miracle but. like. you know. a burgeoning fanbase would be nice. Whoa! This 2017 retrospective just got real…ly dumb. uh.
  • I posted a super special Christmas-themed “short story”! It’s a giant satire of religion and the bible. I could definitely being the most controversial thing I’ve posted, but I also see it as one of the best because I get to be oddtastic and write nonsense. There’s even some Seuss-esque rhymes! It’s on my website here, Wattpad, and Medium.

DISASTERS

  • well most of the year for everybody and everything but ME SPECIFICALLY…
  • The beginning of the year sucked because as usual I was working at Bloom Insurance Agency, but even worse, it was customer service! For an incompetent company (not Bloom, they contract with insurance companies to do sales, it was the client who was pretty bad) in a badly-set-up system and also this is all redundant because it’s health insurance. The exception to health insurance is a company that’s not garbage in all ways. However, this wasn’t much of a disaster so much as par for the course over the past several years because I always start the year working since it’s their busy season and then after the first of the month I go on furlough when there’s not as much work and I can do good work. However…
  • I returned in mid-August and it was… weird, at first. I was put on a program without a lot of real training, but it was a program winding down, we were calling insurance agents, not customers, and again, it was winding down, so for the most part we just called answering machines, calling people who were called before, or just waited for no one to ever call. There ended up being so much downtime that people could often go home early. However, that ended, and then I went to an actual program for actually selling health insurance… and… oh Gourd, what was that company called? I’ve forgotten! Hang on… Aetna, I think? Pretty sure it was Aetna. DANG, did I get a pompous vibe from them. Anyway there was so much garbage terrible and finally I snapped at work. I described it at length here. As I say there, there was just a lot of really skeevy capitalist garbage that is totally legal and fine and okay but makes want to figgin PUKE, and I hate health insurance, I hate talking on the phones, I hate sales (making it all the harder for me to promote my book, but I’m still tryin’!), and I finally realized I could not help this rude person, and not just they were so rude, but my being there was a figgin detriment to every person who called and got me. To survive in capitalism I was having to make the world overall WORSE.
    I would rather die.
  • Continuing the theme of I Can’t Hold Down A Job Anymore, Basic Guaranteed Universal Income Or I Will Be Forced To Make The World A Worse Place To Survive And It Will Be You Stupid Conservative And Libertarians’ Fault So Good Job On That, Would You Rather I Die, at the end of November I applied to a job with my local paper as a night mailroom inserter or something or other. It was basically just placing newspapers in machines so they get sorted and ads and papers are placed in them right. Turns out because I have a garbage body I can’t do physical labor, certainly can’t do it at any decent speed, absolutely not at a decent speed needed for most jobs, and therefore just cross out physical labor with Talking to Customers on the list of jobs I can’t do. I forget how much I talked about this but basically the job was about 5 hours a night and after half of that I was nearly faint and couldn’t continue. I had to quit. After half a night. So that little experiment failed.
  • net neutrality repeal but again that’s something regarding the entire country, you don’t need me to tell you about that. Although after the repeal vote I actually called my reps about it, and note that after the calls I wanted to curl up under a chair so yeah phones suck die die die phones
  • Oh I guess the Patreon debacle was a slight disaster but Patreon walked it back so I think it’s gonna be okay.
  • Aaaand that’s really all the disasters of the year, my personal disasters totaled two, everything else was fairly fantastic, and those two disasters were both ME TRYING TO WORK A REGULAR JOB. Seriously, what do you want from me, world? But let’s move on from these sad parts and look forward to…

PLANS FOR 2018

  • Obviously I mentioned Darmenzi releases next year. It comes out Wednesday, January 17th. If I can get some selling I’ll be happy. I’ll pretty much take any number over zero, but I’d like double-digits. (I’d be ecstatic over triple.) Currently only the ebook is set; I don’t want to use Createspace because it’s owned by Amazon (which is why I’m reluctant to do anything related to Goodreads), so I’m going to try out other self-publish websites. I’ll keep you posted on that. I do truly believe this book is better than the first, and it begins to bring up questions about the creator and narrator with the antagonist, Darmenzi. Some closure, some sadness, and some some fantastic villain interaction. But with a few weeks left I still need to work on promoting it…
  • I want to start a new daily project in 2018. I don’t want to reveal too much yet, for some reason, but it’s totally ripped off from inspired by something KC Green is doing. It also means this blaargablog will pick up by about… Whoa wait I had at least one post a day from the 15th to the 20th! That’s pretty good. anyway lotsa %.
  • I’ve gotten a Mastodon account! I really would like to stop Twittering but whoops I need to build an online presence and using websites that have traffic is a slight requirement, sorry. I’m still not sure how I want to do this but I might just give up and post at both places equally with the same things, which would also involve making a second Mastodon account equivalent to the Cloudy Cuckoo Cosmos Twitter.
  • Might get a Ko-Fi. A cocoa-wifi. After the Patreon thing happened I was like “huh, maybe i’d rather make my goals just flat amounts to reach towards instead of monthly givings goals.” Now, I changed that idea because most of my current Patreon goals are actually recurring things that I would want a continuing stream of income to help with (posting more chapters a month, the Cloudy Cuckoo Cosmail which to be fair I mostly want to wait to do because I want a big enough fanbase to get a steady stream of questions but I’d also like to pay my artist friends for drawing the comics so yeah), but there are some that could work as an accumulation of everything donated (special stories, comic/graphic versions of short stories, that Cloudy Cuckoo Cosmos Online RPG idea I wanna do someday), kinda like mini-Kickstarters except there’s no guarantee and you give money even if it takes 5000 years to reach the goal, since it’s more of a “thank you!!!” than an actual end goal. Maybe. I dunno.
  • There are at least one or two short stories I will post here next year, and I’d also like to write more and maybe finish some and maybe even finish some that I could submit to publications! I’ve sent one to a few places but it hasn’t been accepted, though to be fair it’s a character-centric story that probably works as being posted here first anyway. I have an idea for a short story I’m going to begin working on soon that might work.
  • Continue Wandering Fortunes! Continue the pokecomic! The former I hope to pass the halfway point on in 2018, and the Pokecomic to, who knows, maybe get to the 3/4 point.
  • Darmenzi audiobook. Work on it is a bit slow because I’m a bit slow, but the idea has been in the making for a little while now and some recording has been done. Some more recording needs to be done and then editing will be discussed. No promises or predictions on when this will start–I can only give myself a deadline.
  • Some freelance writing/editing? Look I clearly suck at holding down a Regular Job, and selling books takes more time than society will allow for survival, so I might have to look to that to have an income.
  • Be the best Duth I can be.
  • And at least a functioning Jeremy.

I think that about wraps it up. See you in a few days for my Clichemas post, and come January 1st I should be starting that new daily project I mentioned.

New short story! A holiday classic! Holy text of the Archussip religion! What?

A brand-new short story has gone up for the holiday season! In chapter 7 of Wandering Fortunes, the religion of Archussip was mentioned and talked about. This is the holy text of that religion. It is a moral-addled story of why you should obey the invisible pony sky god, Gourd, and why They are so great and why science is so bad? And also, Hollywood?

I wouldn’t call it a mess, per se… I’d call it a religious text. Archussipism is a religion rivaling that of, say, Scientology, or Mormonism, or… Catholicism.

feel free to tell me what you think!!

Top interrupts another story! This time, Magic Banquet

Top! in: Magic Banquet

I made another short scene wherein Top ends up in some other story (previously they appeared in Lord of the Rings). This time it’s Magic Banquet, a book by A.E. Marling. It has food, of course, one of Top’s favorite subjects. Take a look! And read Marling’s books too, they’re pretty good.

Top! in: Lord of the Rings

Okay. So sometimes when I’m reading a story I’ll get distracted and start imagining how things could go different. Sometimes I imagine how they couldn’t go different–namely, What if Top Just Kind of Showed Up in This Story for Absolutely No Apparent Reason? This… is that story.

New version of “Tough as Blades” short story

Some time ago I took to the short story I posted here years ago and edited it rather significantly, using the knowledge I’d gained from having an editor go over Slubes. Although it’s not entirely something new for this month, there are new scenes, including one that show how Master Hydra met Crawmaster, and all the old scenes have been thoroughly edited to be much better. “Tough as Blades“, the story whose title was the result of me forgetting that the actual phrase is tough as nails and that nails and blades don’t really have all that much in common??

One more month of 2016. On January 1st, Wandering Fortunes begins. A new world. New characters. New species. New nonsense. New beach ball. Around mid-December (the 16th or a few days after) I’m going to post some information to start diving into the new setting and everything of Wandering Fortunes. We saw Mintop over two books. Now we’ll see two planets over one book.

Of course, if you want to see this story start half a month early, you can become a patron over at Patreon!

This Just In! Totally Real! SCIENCE ANNOUNCES TEMPERATURE CHANGE!

Science (the discipline, not the academic journal) just announced today of the start of DST, Daylight Savings Temperature. Starting yesterday, everyone is to move their thermometers down ten degrees. This has the effect of dispelling the excess heat on the planet and making the summer months cooler. Science confirms that this has ended global warming and that the planet is no longer heating up.

In other news, my schedule at work is unchanged from last week–it was not affected by the clocks, even though it appears to have been. Therefore I did not lose an hour of sleep/the weekend. Jealous?

Tough as Blades: First (fully-public) Short Story!

… is not the subtitle!

So my new(?) short story, as well as my first(?) short story, “Tough as Blades” is now available for viewing. For free! On the internet!!

It stars a minor character (perhaps one could call him a minor antagonist) from Slubes and what happened to him after and a few months later. That’s what I’ll usually write with short stories: smaller events featuring minor characters from novels. They’re not quite as polished as the novels, I’ll admit–those get looked over by other people and are given detailed attention to… detail… or something… unlike these blog posts… but that doesn’t mean I don’t revise them 3 or 4 times.

You can read more summary of “Tough as Blades” at the new Short Stories page (located underneath the old Cloudy Cuckoo Cosmos page), or you can jump right in either directly on WordPress here, read it on Google Drive here, or download a Microsoft Word file here because hey why not??

Stories like this one will show up every so often, probably announced a week or two ahead. I have quite a few plans, indeed. For now, the next thing to see will be my second novel, Darmenzi, but that will be after the upcoming National Novel Writing Month. Here’s to looking ahead, I guess!

Coming October 13th!

In a little over a week I will post here on this site the first fully-public Cloudy Cuckoo Cosmos short story. Here have a teaser:

 

He was once the greatest fighter the world that he had known had ever known…

Respected by his peers, feared by his challengers… He was on top of the world. No one could topple him.

But all that changed when she showed up. He was beaten, and he lost everything. Except his home. And his friends. And those things that are required to stay alive such as food and air. But he definitely lost his confidence and his talent. No more was he on top of the world; now he was nothing, nobody nowhere, nohow, ‘no’ why? ‘Cause he lost.

But now he risks losing everything that he didn’t lose when he lost everything unless he can find his lost confidence and talent and save the orphanage his home…

“THIS STORY ISN’T NEARLY AS DEEP AND SUBSTANTIAL AS YOU’RE MAKING IT OUT TO BE. IT’S ACTUALLY QUITE SHORT AND SILLY.”

Shut it up, you.

“WHY DON’T YOU COME OVER HERE AND MAKE ME?”

… Touché, buddy.

 

COMING OCTOBER THIRTEENTH: “Tough as Blades