CCC donates to charities in February

So most of the time when I get into

Bah, this isn’t even politics, this is just basic decency. Well, if you’ve read the news, the US is imploding, and people are giving money to organizations to try and keep things existent for the next while. I keep my monetary levels at sea level generally, but I figured I could donate other peoples’ money. Thus to the end of February (and maybe later depending on how things go) all sales of my book will go to charities doing good things to save the nation and the world from being eaten by a bog monster.

Right now I’m thinking the American Civil Liberties Union, Planned Parenthood Action Fund, Natural Resources Defense Council, and Fight for the Future (the internet is serious business, after all). I’m open to other ideas, though.

What this includes is, well, anything related to the CCC. Buy a copy of Slubes, whether paperback or ebook, wherever copies are sold, and whatever I get from that goes to a charity. Become a patron of mine on Patreon in February? To charity. Buy that shirt that I never mention? It’s sad and heartwarming, the latter mostly because you’re wearing magma, and weirdorable and yes if you buy it money goes to a charity, and then you get a shirt and can wear the shirt at a protest and I can’t actually think of anything clever as to how that would tie into all this. I mean, it’s a figgin magma monster. I’d say like, you could say it’s Trump, but then you make Trump look sympathetic. Also a magma monster. Cagnorm is way more likable anyway.

That’s all I got, I suppose. You can of course always donate directly to good causes, but, like, then you won’t get to read a neat and funny book. Actually, I suppose I could give an ebook copy to anyone who can show they’ve donated, but I’m not sure what would qualify as proof in that regard.

Anyway, if you’ve read this far, a reminder that tomorrow the second chapter of Wandering Fortunes goes up. Then those who do become patrons in February will get to then read the third chapter in just a couple weeks. Exciting!

Apparently there’s a presidential debate tonight, so let’s look at the candidates as VIDEO GAME CHARACTERS

On one side, we have Donald Trump. He’s a default character available from the beginning. He hits really hard, but he’s slow. He has a degree of unpredictability that, somehow, just makes him really predictable. A lot of rookies play as him because, against another rookie or easy CPUs he often is easy to win with.

Then we have Hillary Clinton. She’s another default character available from the start, and she has a lot of skills and strength that makes her a strong character, but all her moves are difficult to pull off and require a lot of practice. Like, a really lot of practice. You doing anything else with your life? You won’t be able to use her very well. You need a lot of money time to get good with her, and those who do are usually able to beat everyone else easily. A novice can hardly beat anyone.

We also have Jill Stein! She’s a hidden, unlockable, hidden character who is really difficult to unlock. However, she’s easy to use and strong, so a novice is able to use her well, as is someone who has practiced with her a lot. She’s high in the tier list. Not top tier, though. That’s Diddy Kong, who was removed from the race for throwing mud. Or maybe it was poop. Either way, she does have some weaknesses, such as an inability to use items well.

Gary Johnson is also a hidden, unlockable character, but he’s the joke character. He’s not very good. At all. Though he’s also difficult to unlock.

Also, Bernie Sanders has been found in the game’s coding. He was cut from the final version, but he’s still in the game’s files in incomplete form. There’s some really specific and complex glitches that can let you play as him, and for the most part he works without much trouble. For the most part it’s just that a match with him and Clinton leads to some game crashes. He generally plays like a stronger Jill Stein but has his own set of weaknesses.

I hope you enjoyed this complete turnaround of my previous statement about being unable to social media anymore because I started my dayjob today.

I just got the call

OMEGA PROTOCOL IS GO

wait no

The dayjob called for me to return to work on Monday. It’s time for my small social media presence to get smaller! Here’s basically my gameplan:

  • Tomorrow I’ll post the last highlight. I might return to it next year, since I intend to go on furlough again so I can then go crazy on editing.
  • I may post some art on Sunday, and then that’ll be it for a while.
  • Overall I’ll just have less time to post things, so I guess I won’t.
  • Man, I really don’t do much, do I?
  • I mean, I kept meaning to get back to making video game videos, but could never organize things enough to do so.
  • At this point my microphone probably stopped working again.
  • Oh well.
  • Chapters will still be posted at the start of each month.
  • Patrons on my Patreon will still get a weekly update, and someday this will work and I won’t have to go to a dayjob that makes me sad at the state of human affairs.
  • I may die.

My plan is to basically spend 90% of my free time working on the third book. Fortunately I’m finished up to May so I have enough of a buffer to not have to really worry at all, unlike a couple years ago (and maybe last year? I don’t remember, it was a blur). There are a couple other projects I wanted to do, and I might quickly do one before I return on Monday, buuut maybe not. I might just leave them both for next year. If I somehow find time I might even still try to get those game videos going again, but I doubt it.

2016 is now over. 2017!!! (you can’t tell but that’s in all caps)

A brief…ish metaphor for the USA times

Say you enter a cafe for lunch. Not a café, of course, because it’s hard to add those little symbols to letters while typing and the French suck–this is America, gaddfern it–in fact, we just start pronouncing cafe “cayff”. So anyway, you enter a cayff and want something to food.

How about a salad? Well, you’ve heard some weird stuff about it, some people say the lettuce wasn’t protected against disease and the tomatoes are mushy, but you checked and the lettuce was protected against disease although questions were brought up over the–I’m gonna say some kind of spray that protected it against disease? I don’t know can you imagine injecting lettuce with a needle? I looked it up and apparently a needle was found in some Romanian lettuce but I mean ha ha where even is Romania? Is it in Rome? I also found this which is adorable.

bunny

Also you checked and the tomatoes are mushy but, still, overall very healthy, very nice. I actually don’t like salads but I assume most people find them edible!

It turns out this cayff only serves one thing at a time, and it only changes every four years (usually). What it serves is decided upon by all the customers who happen to be there at the time. Whichever side is loudest most populous is what is served for those four years. Everyone seems to be focusing on two dishes though, neither of which is the salad. You ask a waiter about it, and they shrug. You ask a few more waiters, and then finally you ask someone who has eaten at the cayff before and they explain that the salad is available down in the basement past a rickety set of stairs, through a flooded passageway, over a wobbly wooden rope bridge over a chasm, and through a Roman gladiator coliseum. They put it there, and nobody ever took the salad, and so they left it there.

You manage to see it using some binoculars or something, and yep, it would be really hard to notice unless you go around asking and looking. No wonder no one goes for it.

You also notice a plate of butter-fried butter covered in nickels with a side of no health care.

Okay, you go back upstairs. What’s the two dishes everyone else is looking at? Well, one of them is an orange Skittle. A giant orange Skittle. That’s poisoned.

why are we eating here again

Okay, okay, okay, what about the other one? Hey, it’s a steak! That’s pretty good, right? It has a side of white bread sogged up with grease and a big hole cut in the center so it’s mostly just the crust, but maybe you won’t have to eat that. Maybe you can just eat the steak.

Although… now that you are remembering, your friend ate here a little while ago for breakfast. They had two steaks available, but one included a fruit salad, though there were some hard bits in the steak. The other steak–the one that is now available for lunch–was actually made of rat meat. Or pigeon meat, or whatever you want to say. Now, they’re saying this lunch steak is not made of that stuff. It is 100% grade-A beef, and it even offers some of the fruit from the fruit salad.

You don’t see the fruit salad, though (they say it’s coming), and you can’t be sure they’re telling the truth about the content of the steak. Sure, your friend could have been lying, but why would they lie, and also, I only said it was a friend because I thought this story might be inconsistent if you’d eaten here before. The breakfast metaphor doesn’t even work all that well. Also, some of the steak’s friends showed up and are dropping hints that the steak would go ahead with the TPP anydangway.

Let’s take a brief moment to reiterate the orange Skittle was poison. Also I can’t actually tell if Skittle is the singular form or if it really is just Skittles overall. Also Skittles is starting to look really weird. Oh yeah and by the way orange is my least favorite Skittle flavor. Actually I don’t like orange-flavored most things. Yet they always seem so common.

What was I talking about? Oh, right, the steak.

So maybe the steak is cool now? Maybe it won’t be rotten and stuffed with money? Maybe it won’t be soaked in oil and cooked in coal?

To push this metaphor unnecessarily further, everyone is divided into tables and each table’s vote is homogeneous, the plurality vote of the table is considered the general vote. You get dumped at a table full of people who don’t think that Skittle is poisonous. You might as well drum up awareness of the salad. The more people who know, the closer we can get to having more choices.

The steak may turn out fine. It may turn out figgin excellent. And the salad could even turn out mediocre. But the range of possibilities seems more positive for the salad.

THIS METAPHOR STOPPED BEING BRIEF HALF AN HOUR AGO I APOLOGIZE

And now, spiders.

I went out for a walk today because of Pokemon GO and decided to head around the nearby lake again. There’s a trail. People walk on it. Maybe I can find a Pokemon?? (Spoilers, I didn’t.) As I walked on the trail along the lake, I looked up suddenly and was greeted by… THIS

20160914_073022.jpg

What? Can’t see it? Hang on…

Wherein I discuss Donald Trump for a moment

What if it turns out that Donald Trump has actually had a little radio transmitter in his ear all along and someone was telling him what to say, but a while ago someone put up an antenna on a nearby Drive-Thru Whale and it’s spouting gibberish for him to say?

We’ll know if this is true if his next speech is something to the effect of, “It’s the greatest day. It’s the greatest day! Seriously, it is the. Greatest. Day. The greatest day, and it’s in America. The greatest day is in America. Let’s make America great again, let’s make this day great again. We are going to make America the greatest day again. The greatest day is going to be America again. Sever your leg. No, I will not say ‘please’.”

Political “I told you so”

The US presidential race this year features number of key players: Hillary Clinton, Bernie Sanders, Jill Stein, Donald Trump, and some guy, Larry Jonathan I think? Clinton got the Democrat’s nominee. Sanders supports were sad. Stein supporters expected it.  Trump supporters… I don’t even know.

Let’s say Trump wins this November and becomes president. Clinton supporters will look at the Sanders supporters who didn’t then bend over for Hillary and say “I told you so.” Sanders supporters will look at the Clinton supporters and say, citing the idea that Sanders was a stronger opponent against Trump, “I told you so.” Who will be right?

Um, well, Donald Trump will be right, because he’s on the Republican side. But who will be left? Well, not the people who will go live in some other country. But who will be wrong? EVERYBODY.

Though I’ve read that more Sanders supporters have gone to Clinton than Clinton supporters did for Obama in 2008 anyway, which is kind of hilarious? I didn’t follow the 2008 election too closely because I was still young, what were their main policy differences? Although I’m not even sure that mattered.

Message for Immigrants…

Why would any of you even want to come to the USA? I mean, look, I can certainly understand there may be some problems in your home country that you may want to escape from, but to this country? Where there are other problems, ranting and punching assholes, and the possibility of an evil spirit of Halloween becoming the leader?? I’m sure there are a lot of countries you could move to that aren’t on the road to a collapsed bridge.

Aside from that, English is an awful language. It’s pretty terrible. It’s mostly just nonsensical, and we can’t even agree on a proper neuter-gender pronoun.

I mean, when I look at all the main-English-speaking countries, I think, wow, are all the English countries just terrible or something??

Oh, except Scotland. You guys still seem cool. Scotland kind of completely voted to remain in the European Union, so maybe they’re having second thoughts about that whole “hey, maybe we should stick around with England”. Also I haven’t heard much about Ireland lately, I dunno how they’re doing, maybe I shouldn’t just assume the worst about all English countries? M…Maybe I’m going to anyway?

Anyway, come to the US if you really want, but 240 years ago we left England, and now England has left the EU, so don’t be surprised if we refuse to be one-upped and vote to leave the United Nations
or something.

Political Oligopoly yaaay

So there’s this: Wall Street donors seek to block Warren VP pick (via Politico). Basically Wall Street people saying they’ll stop donating to Hillary Clinton if she chooses Senator Elizabeth Warren as her vice president running mate.

I’m not entirely keen on the idea of Warren as a VP actually (she can probably do more good in the Senate), but based on this having her as Clinton’s VP might actually get me to vote for Clinton! Hey, if money is speech, so is no money.

After I thought of this I imagined a theoretical conversation where someone asks if that means I might not vote for Clinton to stop Trump. My answer was yes, because voting for the sake of not-the-other removes all possible leverage from my vote. It means money is more of speech than voting is.

Then I realized that the two-party system is an oligopoly. Obviously not a monopoly because there are two parties, but it’s one party away from a monopoly, and if you don’t like one of the two, you’re out of luck. A quote from the Politico article:

But more moderate Democrats in the financial services industry argue that Sanders voters will come on board anyway

Oligopolyyyyyyyy

Image says, well, most of it

20160503_135935

The rest of the message is “for Bernie Sanders to be the Democratic Party’s nominee.”

It wasn’t actually crowded at all, which I hope means that everyone headed early in the morning to vote, and NOT that they’ll all have to head in the last hour or half hour in a giant mass of people, or that just no one cared.