Species Profile for Schalindra… How is this a species??

There’s a new species profile up, and it’s a doozy! The Schalindra, formally introduced in the last chapter, are a set of monstrous villains who are treated as such. They’re gross and horrible, yay! They also all look so widely different that it’s like, how are these all the same species?? You know how all dogs are dogs? Imagine that, except alligators are also a dog species. No one’s ever looked into how this is though because the Schalidnra probably killed and ate anyone who did.

They’re not nice. But who in New Zhopolis is?

An update on Darmenzi: the book isn’t coming out this year. Sad, I know. Still too much to do, including more things I’m adding to the plate that I want to happen around the time the book releases. It should be coming out in January though so it’s not like it’s too far away. Other projects will be coming, as well!

I have a job interview tomorrow though so if I get a dayjob (or nightjob as the case may be) things may slow down a bit. But I’ll never stop working!

Finally, Patreon continues to be a thing with a new chapter releasing soon! Check it out if you’re cool!

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New Wandering Fortunes chapter up! Chapter 10: A Place for the Placeless

Here’s chapter ten of Wandering Fortunes! This brings us to the end of the first quarter of this story and about halfway through the first part. This chapter introduces a lot of new friends! With a place to stay found in New Zhopolis, Alden, Top, and Ropak meet their new housemates. Some ignore them, some are enthusiastic, and some are mysterious. Also, one of them says memes. You’ve been warned.

As it turns out, three of the characters introduced in this chapter are inspired by characters of my friends Paperlanty, Devon, and Darvo “Cthulhuigi” Prower. (Sheesh.) Try to guess which ones! Or don’t. I can’t tell you what to do.

Also something new with this chapter is a new design for the chats between Duth and Wally. Instead of having their name followed by a colon and then what they say, their text is on a separate paragraph. Not sure how good it looks online, but it looks a lot better in regular text.

Final work on completing Darmenzi has begun. It’ll still be a little while before I’m done, but I’m hoping to be able to release this book in December. You know, so people can buy it for Clichemas. Obviously. As a reminder, not only do patrons of my Patreon get the serialized chapters half a month early, but when Darmenzi releases you’ll get a copy of the ebook. Not only that, but if you give $3 or more you’ll receive a copy of the ebook a whole month in advance! Then you can see how amazingly it has improved from what I posted online last year.

Chapter 9 of Wandering Fortunes is up!

Chapter 9: No Hobo features the first kind clerpson our friends encounter in New Zhopolis. At least, let’s hope he turns out to be friendly–it’s hard to trust anyone in a big city like this. At the bottom of the city, though, depressed and alone, it seems he may be their way to make it in the city. Or at least live in it. Also features the sudden appearance of another character, a strange-looking one whose appearance raises even more questions than Top’s look does. Well, those questions will keep coming next chapter, so whatever.

I don’t think I’ve mentioned this yet, but I got some information from my editor and soon it will finally be time to charge full steam ahead on finishing Darmenzi! Yes, that’s still a thing that’s going to happen! Kind of crazy to think it’s been nine months since its last chapter was posted on here, but it’s been edited to be way better and I hope I can get this out before the year’s end! (If not, I may very well shoot for two years to the day after the second edition of Slubes released.) I’ve never been strong on the advertising front, but I hope to change that. oh no

And remember, I have a Patreon where you can read these new chapters half a month early. Chapter 10 will come in mid-September. Plus, you can get a free ebook copy of Darmenzi a month before the final release!

oh and you can make a word mandatory to appear on my website, more on that later

Character Profile for Alden

The character profile for Alden is now available to read. He’s basically the protagonist of Wandering Fortunes, being the focus character in pretty much twice as many chapters as the other main characters. He’s also a bookworm. Yaaay. This means is is guaranteed relatable because you are also reading at the same time. This is how relatability works right. Relatable and other related words are actual words right.

In other CCC news, I’ve spent the last week working hard on Darmenzi and I’m only 60% through editing from the editor’s notes. Still I should finish in a few days and then spend a week reading through it for a final scan and if things go according to plan this book will be released in April or May so the Nottle Crystal series is almost complete in final book form yaaay! FINALLY, THE THINGS THAT HAPPENED IN THE CHAPTERS I POSTED OVER THE LAST COUPLE YEARS WILL HAPPEN FOR REAL. For a certain definition of “real”.

Also, don’t forget my Patreon, where $3+ patrons this very day get to read chapter 3 of Wandering Fortunes. Everyone else has to wait a couple more weeks.

Finally, I have CCCalling cards now. This is not really something of interest for the internet but LOOK AT THEM

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Slubes edition 2 is now available, paperback and ebook!

Once upon a time, over six years ago, I started working on an actual novel. A lot of off-and-on work later and the final result is finally final! Slubes is here, for reals this time!

Slubestitle

The ebook is available at Smashwords here for $1, and the physical book is available on Amazon here for $12. There is also a free preview on Smashwords, should be one coming up on Amazon soon, and I’ll also put up a preview on this website here. In fact, after I type up this blog post I’m going to go through this website and update a lot of pages. Should be fun!

I fully believe this book is better in every aspect from the old one, which I suppose is a good thing because anything less would be kind of stupid. It’s bigger, more detailed, stronger, and the author intrusions are more obvious now yaaaay!

I’m sitting here thinking of what else to say, but all I can think is that I hope you (the internet) check out the first writing of mine ever on the internet to be finished, refinished, refurbished, reapplied, refibrillated, refinished again, completely finished, recompleted, and made into a readable format! And then I hope, if you do check it out, that you also like it. Like and subscribe! Review it, let me know its strengths and weaknesses, help make the sequel even better (of course, half of that is on this website, but not as finished as Slubes now is).

Oh, and I may have Kindle version of Slubes available later this month. That’s all for now.

Four more days to Slubes!

The Slubes re-release comes out in just four days, so here’s one final excerpt from it featuring everyone’s favorite angry, edgy buzz saw whose name starts with S and has at least one letter in it that is more than two syllables, Sawn.

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Another Slubes Excerpt

I would just like to take a brief moment here first to mention the great editor I had to help me rewrite Slubes, Dawn Johnson, with her website Word Edge here. She was super great in both critiquing the novel to help me improve and editing it to help the novel improve, and she was always ready to clarify and help me work out where to go. She helped me determine how to format the Duth Olec and Wally Plotch side conversations, get the story and characters more direction and flesh, and improve everything forever and completely totally.

Now here’s a totally new scene (or at least mostly new scene) that wouldn’t have been added without her advice, I think. There’s at least a couple scenes like that? Maybe a few? Or more? I don’t believe the ones I’m thinking of were added beforehand. Sheesh, it’s been 2 1/2 years, I don’t remember. In the version on this website, pretty much this whole thing is skipped–the story goes directly from their learning of the power plant problem to after Zeth examined it.

Read the excerpt

Reader Reviews for Slubes (and a question for indie authors)

In just under two weeks Slubes will be re-released in edition 2: everything’s been improved edition. On Thursday, March 10th, it comes out. Between now and then, though, if there is anyone interested in reading it ahead of time (if you can read 300 pages in two weeks) and then posting an honest review online (whether on Amazon, a blog, Goodreads, or where have you), I will be perfectly willing to send you an e-copy of Slubes to do so. Then when the book is released I can send you a thing so you can officially get the book for free through Smashwords.

Again, this would be an honest review, so if you hate it, by all means. (Just say why you hate it, and it can help others decide if they would agree.) It’s win-win, probably. You get a book to read with no money paid, and I might get some exposure. Just post a comment here or Twitter to me if you’re interested. If you stumbled upon this place with no idea what the novel is about, it’s some amalgamation of humor, science fantasy, and adventure, so if that piques anyone’s interest, here’s the description from the back cover:

When disaster falls, there are only three heroes who, well, know about it. It remains to be seen if they can do anything about it.

The planet Mintop is on the verge of invasion. Three slubes–distant relatives to slugs–find that an intergalactic conqueror is after a crystal of immense power in their town. According to legend, removal of this crystal has always led to a town-wide disaster. When it shatters in the sky, a race begins—the three slubes must rebuild the crystal before a new disaster takes place. That is, if one hasn’t already happened, as the space invader isn’t about to lose such a powerful artifact and aims to stop their collectathon.

Numer, the happenstance hero with a nervous disposition, Cherry, the strong-tailed martial artist, and Professor Zeth, the well-meaning but careless inventor. These three semi-heroes must overcome The Conqueror’s obstacles if they are to save their planet from the disaster of an intergalactic invasion.

The debut novel of Duth Olec and perplexed narrator Wally Plotch chronicling tales of the Cloudy Cuckoo Cosmos, and the first of two novels in the Nottle Crystal series.

You know, as long as I’m reaching out to the internet, if any indie authors out there are looking for more people to read their stories, I’ve actually been looking for some indie writing to read lately, authors and writers who are basically sailing the same sort of waters I am. I’ll read just about anything; I prefer to have some humor, but I’ll also read a more serious tale, and I also don’t just read science fiction/fantasy, either. So, you know, whatever, charge ahead.

Patreon changes and pre-order notes

It turns out to make pre-ordering a thing with a Createspace-self-published book requires hoops. As it stands, when setting up the book information you can select a publication date, but you can’t select a publication date in the future. When I saw that, the first thing that came to mind is that someone has a planned publication date, they can enter in their date, and once it’s approved pre-ordering can begin. Nothing of the sort! That’s just there if the book was published in the past, I guess? I dunno. And of course once a book’s proof is approved, once the author says “yes, everything looks fine, the book is in place and set up right”, that’s equivalent to saying “sell the book NOW”.

So, to summarize, no pre-orders. Also, I can’t actually order non-proof copies of the book before approving it, so pre-ordering it by pledging on my Patreon won’t really get it any faster either. So that’s kind of a dead end there, no pre-ordering for the physical book, and for the ebook only pre-ordering through my Patreon.

Speaking of Patreon, I’ve done some changes. (Actually as of my typing this I have made no changes, but I’m partly using this to organize my thoughts while I change it). One of these days I should change that intro video to just be my voice with some images, no one wants to stare at me for a few minutes.

I’ve done a bit of editing on the about page, but it’s nothing too major. I might have changed one word on the milestones. What I’m really changing are the rewards. The $12 reward was originally for a signed book, but that has been changed to an unsigned one. There’s a new reward of $15 for a signed book. Why?

A signed book nearly doubles the cost to me, because first I have to ship it to me, sign it, then ship it out, so I pay for shipping twice. Cost analysis: as a creator, ordering a copy of Slubes only costs me $4.61, with $3.59 for shipping. Thus, if I ship it directly to someone this way, it costs $8.20. This is slightly lowered when I order them to my place because I’ll get 10 or so at once; since shipping doesn’t go up the same amount per book, it’ll result in something resembling $6 per book. Then I sign it, and from what the USPS website says the cost of shipping the book to someone becomes $6.45, so that comes to about $12 or so. The cost of signing the book is about $4 (not counting the ink used, and I kind of have a box of 50 pens I got for free due to Amazon free shipping shenaginags so whatever).

For the record, and I don’t think I mentioned this yet and probably should have, the new edition of Slubes will have a price of $12. I don’t give a fig for this $#.99 nonsense. Psychological pricing, pfft. Also while looking up the name of that I came across the Official Monster Raving Loony Party. Hats off to the UK. Not that I’m wearing a hat. In my case it might be hair off. Not for another month or so. Where was I? Oh, right.

$12 for Slubes normally, minus whatever percentage off Amazon might do at any given moment, plus shipping unless you have some membership with something or spend another $23 or so. $12 pledge on Patreon for a copy with no shipping cost, and $15 pledge for a signed copy with no shipping cost. Ebooks, meanwhile, are $1 regardless of Patreon or directly on Smashwords. And I don’t think I can sign ebooks…

That’s about it for this informationativel update. More fun stuff later!

Excerpt from Slubes new edition

If you may recall from near a year ago when I started posting Darmenzi chapters, the occasional interruption of Duth Olec (and Wally Plotch’s responses) in the story has been redesigned so that it is easier to understand, now being in the form of something like a chat log. As Darmenzi began with this, and the old Slubes began with an introduction by Wally and Duth, the new Slubes begins with Wally trying to figure out what he’s doing and Duth being me.

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