Wandering Fortunes Chapter 17 is up! Ride of the Domestic Device Drover (etc.)

Ride of the Domestic Device Drover, but I Guess There Are More Important Matters at Hand! Now how’s that for a title? Following on the disastrous last chapter, Alden is out to get some answers, but he’ll find a lot more than he intends! Will this spell disaster for him and his friends? I referred to the previous chapter as the one where things start to go to hex; this is the one where everything firmly and completely goes to hex. The action is rising quickly now, and the first half’s climax will be soon!

Of course, once you’re finished reading this chapter, if you want to get a jump on everyone and read chapter 18 sooner, you can donate to my Ko-Fi! As an added bonus you’ll get a copy of Slubes or Darmenzi, whichever you like–not that you need to this month, because both books are free in the Smashwords Summer Sale! Grab both, read free books, read free in-progress books on this website–I love free stuff!

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A brief story of grunkiness

Grunkiness is basically what I’m calling how I’ve been feeling kinda depressed lately. For various reasons that all may just be capitalism, but let me tell you about myself this morning.

I stopped drinking disposable bottles of water a while ago. Bad for the environment, you see. I just use an old reusable water bottle and fill it from the tap. Except it’s a little bit leaky when you shake it. Well, I drink Crystal Light, so when I shake it up it kinda leaks, so I usually screw the lid on tight. Anyway I screwed it on too tight and the bottle’s dumb straw got dislodged and I couldn’t open it and I gave up on it and chucked it in the sink and just went to lie down because I’m sick of the dang thing.

In my annoyance I forgot that I actually do have bigger packets you mix into a pitcher of water, but I usually end up not actually making some because it’s such a hassle and annoying and I never feel like I have any time anyway. Except. While I was lying down I told myself that, really, it’s not that big a deal to do it. And my brain responded, “yes it iiiiiis.”

so anyway is that a sign of depression

That said I made myself get up to make some, told myself that when I’m out I’m going to start immediately making some, and

I feel kind of happy now??

I’ll take it!

Wandering Fortunes Chapter 15 available!

Wandering Fortunes Chapter 15: For a Friend’s Benefit is now up. It… it, uh…

Okay, I’m gonna level with you. This chapter is about sex work. There’s nothing explicit, but things are discussed. I actually went back and forth some on if I should include it, and this chapter was written much later than the rest. I also tried to treat the profession with as much respect as I could muster. I don’t know how I did on that, but feel free to tell me what you think and anything I can improve on that front because honestly this is about as far removed from my own experiences as possible, as someone probably asexual. But I tried to write based on what I’ve read people say about the work and with the assumption that it’s just a job and people probably shouldn’t actually freak out over it so much.

If you think my writing is good and want me to write more and also live and be alive and exist, you can help me out and get cool stuff in return at my Patreon or Ko-fi! You can see behind-the-scenes updates, early chapters, or get special copies of my books! And then maybe someday I can make a comic and we can play a game.

April Fool’s!

If you read my new story to the end, you saw this coming. Not a joke, not a prank, but an entire story that, for the most part, really is in the style that the joke claims to be in. Take that, fake movie trailers! I’m making REAL stuff for April Fool’s Day!

But…

The real April Fool’s is that it turns out the next few Wandering Fortunes chapters actually DO take something of a dark turn! Oh boy! Keep an eye around here, we’ll return to that story at the start of May.

For now, today’s Odemon will be coming shortly.

Taking the Cloudy Cuckoo Cosmos in a new direction

I’ve decided I’m going to change my writing style. For the longest time I’ve had a pretty silly tone, but I’m going to shift to a more serious tone and style now. To experiment with this, I’ve written a short story that I’d like to get some feedback on, but make sure you read the entire thing before you do.

Oh, and it’ll help if you do it within the next, say, twenty-four hours.

Now up: Wandering Fortunes Chapter 14: Top’s Tasty Turmoil

Chapter 14 of Wandering Fortunes is now available. Top, Alden, and Ropak start their first day in the Zhopian Guard, and Top causes a food fight. This is another one of those food-centric chapters, and to go with that the most important character in Homestuck nothing is introduced, Fridger the talking fridge.

It also happens to have some signs of “hey earlier chapters are gonna be edited more” because I don’t think phossers have been mentioned before but here it acts like they have. Phossers are related to horses, and young ones are, like horses, called ponies. Now you’ll understand the best joke.

Don’t forget, people who give to both my Patreon and my new Ko-fi get to read chapters ahead of time, along with other cool stuff like weekly update previews and signed copies of books. Yaaay! And I’m sure now that we’ve had a food fight chapter the rest of this story will be just as fun and whimsical!!

Physical Darmenzi book! Patreon changes! KO-FI!

The physical book version of Darmenzi is now available for purchase on Lulu.com! It’s even better than my first book Slubes, and I’m excited to finally have a second book in physical form. Now I can show people TWO things and they’ll go “whaaaa, you’re dedicated to this??” It’s $12 on Lulu and it’s amazing and formatted and just take a look at what the critics may or may not have said!

“I laughed! I cried! I ate a banana!”

“If you only read one book this year, you should read more. What’s this about a Darmenzi story?”

“The title character is truly the greatest villain of our time. Even if Duth is a charlatan who skews how I–I mean, he looks.”

To go along with this announcement there’s been some changes to my Patreon, although some of it is just cleaning up. The most immediate change is to the $2 and $3 reward tiers, which no longer has the “give for a million months and get a name in book”. I really don’t like having rewards that require someone to sustain giving over a period of time, because not everyone can do that.

Instead, those are now a part of my Ko-fi page! I’ll still be on Patreon but they will generally focus on different things–Patreon in the prog chapters I post for free each month (you can see them early or see excerpts from what I’m working on at the time, for example), and Ko-fi on the final products:

$3 gets you an ebook copy of one of my books, $18 gets you not only a signed physical copy in the mail but also an exclusive bookmark, and $30 gets your name in the next figgin book, wow!

Think of Patreon as helping fund my creative process, and Ko-fi as being closer to me. Somehow. I also plan to add goals to Ko-fi that I feel are things I don’t necessarily need to make a monthly income as the prerequisite for doing, although I can’t guarantee that none of them are going to be jokes.

That’s about it for now! New Ko-fi, continuing Patreon, physical Darmenzi book. See you in about a week for the next profile (and don’t forget that $3+ patreons get to read the next chapter early).

Wandering Fortunes Chapter 13: Testy Wills is up!

Chapter 13 of Wandering Fortunes is now up! Alden, Top, and Ropak continue to try to join the Zhopian Guard and have to run an obstacle course in the process. However, there’s more than just the course working as obstacles in their way. They’ll have to work together to get through it… or, perhaps not?? Perhaps there will be delicious cake, though.

Don’t forget about Darmenzi, though! The ebook released just a couple weeks ago, and there’s going to be more news about it soon! Keep watching for that.

Odemon #477

The name’s Noir.
Dusknoir.
I’m a private eye. By which I mean, I have one eye, and it’s private. It sees things. Lots of things. Things you wouldn’t believe. Things you wouldn’t be able to see, and since seeing is believing, QED. My eye sees things in the spirit world. And it’s private about it. Anything I see, I won’t go blabbing about. I’m a private eye like that.
I’m also a private investigator. I look into things. I keep it secret. Sometimes, though, I’m also a conductor.
You see—Well, take the instance of this one dame. She was a legend at this point, a 2000 year-old legend. But she was tired of it. She was ready to move on. But she’d been waiting, waiting these 2000 years for her lost lover. It’s an old story, really. A 2000 year-old story. I’d heard it hundreds of times. It’s always the same. He went off to fight in some war and never returned. But she waited for him. Waited through death, waited for 2000 years.
I figured she’d waited long enough. I took the case.
Had to go halfway across the whole world to do it, too. But I finally got a trail. This big-shot Jellicent saw the man. Lucky her she hadn’t dragged their crew under the waves those centuries ago or I’d have had to deal with her, but she pointed me down the right path.
In the end, I found the old spirit, far from his home, far from his lived mind. By now he remembered almost nothing of his life as alive, but he’d been haunting some neck of the woods this Mismagius dame looked over. With what I knew of the spirit’s story, she was able to whip up some magic to remind that old army spirit of his old life. Once he had his memory back, I stuffed him in my gut—seriously, I’m like a taxi service here—and took him home. Once he and his old flame were back together, I led them to the spirit world. Those two kids could finally be together. And hey, fewer spirits around here to worry about.
Still, there’ll always be others. But I don’t mind.
After the ending, I make happy epilogues.

-Odemon #477 Dusknoir

New book, Darmenzi releases tomorrow, January 17th!

Oh dang! It’s the second book release! Darmenzi is finally here, tomorrow! I’m excited, and definitely not just woke up and wanting to get all this stuff said before it’s too night and everybody normal is asleep!

It’s a sequel to my first book, Slubes, which is still available and stars an anxious pile of frayed nerves pulled into an adventure where he tries to prove himself to his love while dealing with his ridiculous world while an intergalactic invader sends destructive, sneaky, and ridiculous enemies to steal a crystal of immense powers. Darmenzi features the return of that anxious pile of frayed nerves, a little braver, a little more confident, still a flopping jitterbug, face off against the authoritative conqueror’s return and a manipulative force of chaos. It has slugs, giant crabs, robots, mechs, magic, caves, ghosts, pirates, ancient ruins, monsters, a dragon, silliness, seriousness, a library, insanity, deep-sea exploration, space exploration, a hotel, a bratty kid with a gun, jail time, a car crash, and sad magma!

The final preview chapter is here, and you can see where all three are at the Darmenzi page. The book will be available at Smashwords, and it has been pre-ordable or whatever at Barnes & Noble, iTunes, and Kobo. I hope you like the book!

Also, work on a physical copy is under way, I should have more information on that next week.